The best fellatio involves a giver who is totally into it, aroused, even a little worshipful. You may find it extremely erotic to pleasure your partner in this way. You may enjoy the stimulation to your lips, tongue, mouth, and hands as you perform a blowjob. Perhaps you get off on the feeling of power you have over your lover as you control his pleasure, or you may get a sexual charge out of feeling dominated by your lover as you serve him. Maybe you enjoy the sense of giving involved in this extremely intimate act. Whatever your scene, you absolutely, positively must be into giving this man a blowjob, otherwise no one will enjoy it.
Although a quickie blowjob in an elevator certainly should have its place in your sexual repertoire, most men will enjoy a blowjob to the fullest in a more relaxed setting. The best oral sex begins long before you take off his clothes. Wear something you know he finds sexy on you. Help him to relax and loosen up, perhaps with a bath or a glass of wine together.
Lay him on his back on a large bed with clean, crisp sheets. Slowly undress him. By taking your time, you build his anticipation and arousal to a tantalizing level. Make sure he has no distractions whatsoever. Turn off the phones, lock the door. Make sure everything you need is within easy reach: condoms, lube, sex toys, something to drink, and something refreshing to eat (perhaps a bowl of fresh strawberries, chilled grapes, or orange slices). Let him focus entirely on his pleasure. If he touches you, it should be for his own enjoyment and not to pleasure you. Make it clear that he is in for a real treat.
Moving on to the head, wet it with your mouth. Feel the smooth, hard surface against your lips, kiss it, lick it, tease it ever so gently with your teeth (if you are using a condom, be careful not to puncture it). Explore the hole in the center of the head with your tongue. This hole is called the meatus, and it’s where urine and semen come out of the penis. Some men enjoy stimulation to this area. Now slowly take the hard, sensitive head entirely in your mouth while using your tongue to stimulate the frenulum. If your partner is seated or lying down, and you are between his legs facing him, your tongue can easily stimulate the frenulum on the underside of the penis as you move the head in and out of your mouth. Pull the head out of your mouth and flick your tongue rapidly against the frenulum. Some men really get off on this sensation.
Begin to build and increase the action. Play around with different moves and see to what he responds, what his mood is for that session. When you find something he enjoys, stay with it for a few minutes or longer, and then vary it. If he really loved something you did, you can return to it later. But never do the exact same things for an extended period, as the effect of even the most wonderful sensations diminish with time.
At this point, you may want to apply lube to his nice erect cock, even if you are not using a condom. This process in itself can be quite entertaining. Drip the lube slowly along his head and shaft, and then use your hands to cover his penis with it. We like water based lube by Durex, it has a sweet taste and isn’t unpleasant, never gets sticky, and is highly concentrated so a little lasts a long time (but you might like to use an odorless and tasteless lube). Enjoy the feel of his slick cock in your hands and mouth.
Try not to have your head simply bobbing up and down on the shaft. This action may produce results, but we’re talking about more advanced skills here. You aren’t merely simulating intercourse. Your mouth and hands have a great many more ways to pleasure his cock than has a pussy or anus. So go ahead and stroke away, worship it, but vary it.
Leave your tongue out of your mouth and use it to pleasure his frenulum as you stroke. Also by sticking your tongue out, you can take the shaft deeper into your mouth. Although the shaft has far fewer nerve endings than the head and the frenulum, many men adore the sensation of being taken fully into their lover’s mouth and even their throat (We’ll deal with deep throating in a separate article.) When you are stroking him with your mouth, don’t forget to use your tongue and lips to increase the sensation. Try sticking your tongue out so you lick his shaft as you stroke with your mouth, or use your lips and tongue to stimulate the frenulum as you pump away. If you moan with pleasure while his cock is in your mouth, he feels the delightful vibration of the sound in his penis. Long before “Hummer” was the name of a gas-guzzling jeep, it was known as a stimulating type of blowjob. Test his music knowledge and his ability to focus by playing “Name That Tune” while you hum your way into his heart. (This may give new meaning to the term “having a tune stuck in your head.”)
Draw your lips into a tight circle, so there is almost a popping sound when the head moves in and out. Be extremely careful not to accidentally use your teeth once the action builds, as it can easily cause injury. You may carefully experiment with nibbling on the shaft, as some men find that erotic, but any use of teeth should be approached with very gradual and deliberate experimentation. Try sucking on his penis, creating a vacuum-like tightness and pressure. Don’t be afraid to suck hard, as many men enjoy that strong sensation. Suck on the head, or take the whole cock in your mouth and maintain the suction the entire time you slide it in and out of your mouth. Or take the opposite approach and take the penis loosely deep into your mouth, then move your head side-to-side in a figure eight so his penis is moving around inside your mouth. You can try long, hard strokes along the entire shaft with just your tongue or with your mouth, or quick light strokes with your mouth just on the head. There are an almost infinite number of ways to pleasure a cock. Be open-minded and playful, and you may continually find new ways to please your lover even after many years together. (And believe me, if you become great at giving him head he’ll still be coming back for more after many years.)
Never let your hands lie still and go unused while you give a blowjob! I cannot stress this point enough. Use them to stroke his shaft below where your mouth is, or you can hold his cock firmly at the base while you suck, even using your hand to firmly draw his cock into your mouth further. Your hands are also indispensable when it comes to testicular and anal stimulation.
Don’t neglect his balls – another point I cannot stress enough! Testicular stimulation is highly erotic for most men. Try using your hands to pleasure his balls, or stroke his cock with your hand and use your mouth and tongue to lick and suck his balls. Most men enjoy having their testicles cupped or played with. Experiment with gently scratching his balls with your fingernails. It is natural for a man’s balls to rise when he is aroused, and most men enjoy it when you gather their balls in your hand and pull them firmly down, drawing them away from the base of the cock. (Be careful never to press on the balls themselves.) You can use your fingers to form a circle around the base of the scrotum to hold the balls down in the sac. Also try tugging hard on the bottom of the scrotum, pulling it down away from his cock. Proceed slowly and carefully, trying gentle pressure before increasing it if he seems to enjoy it. As in all sensitive erogenous zones, there may be a fine line between pleasure and pain, and each man has his own threshold that may shift over time, so be attentive to his responses.
Knock at his back door. A great many men enjoy anal stimulation. While your mouth is busy with his cock, gently touch the sensitive anus with the tip of your finger. If he does not discourage you, insert a lubed finger in his anus. If he responds positively, push your finger further into his rectum until you feel the prostate, which is the size and shape of a chestnut. Massage it with your finger. Use your other hand to press against his perineum, the area between the base of the penis and his anus. Between your two hands, one inside and one outside, you will be able to stimulate his prostate quite well. Many men are driven absolutely wild by this approach. If he enjoys rectal stimulation, you could take his cock in your mouth while facing him, then wrap your arms around his hips and use both hands to stimulate his rectum and anus. Hug him towards you each time you take his cock deep into your mouth and finger his anus at the same time. For many men, this is sheer bliss. Talk about multi-tasking!
If you feel he is approaching climax, then you might want to slow the action until he backs away from the imminent orgasm. Then slowly begin to build again. Many great dance and musical performances make use of this strategy, slowly building to near crescendo then backing off and starting slowly and quietly again. Try making use of it in your great performance in bed. Near-orgasm is a wonderful place to be! Try to keep him in that state for as long as possible, without frustrating him.
Some men cannot tolerate slowing down once they are near orgasm. However, often a more patient, experienced lover will adore this sort of dance. The process of building to near-orgasm, then having the action slow, with you whispering “not yet” into his ear in a husky voice as you slowly build the tempo again, may drive him wild. Be especially aware of your partner’s responses during this process. Sometimes a man is past the point-of-no-return, and you must help him come if he seems unable to slow down. Also, even the most patient of lovers will eventually want to enjoy the grand finale. So try to pick up on signs that he is ready to cum.
For the moment of truth you’ll need to assume the position. Any position that allows you to reach his cock with your mouth is game. But when you’re ready for the finale, if you’re not already in the ultimate position of sexual worship, kneel between his legs. When you sense he is ready to cum, quicken the pace. You should be pumping fast and furiously with your mouth, or your hand if you can’t move fast enough with your mouth. Timing is everything; at this point, DO NOT slow the pace no matter how sore or tired your mouth or hands become. Keep the rhythm going and don’t stop. Make sure you pace yourself during the blowjob so that you can finish with a sprint. Virtually all men enjoy rapid-fire pumping at the end, but some men like it light and others like a firmer hand. Experiment with pressure and speed.
Don’t forget his balls! Many men find testicular stimulation critical as they near orgasm. Some even enjoy having their scrotum tugged hard as they approach climax. Others are driven over the edge by anal, rectal, and/or prostate stimulation. You’ve spent a lot of time learning what he likes, now is the time to give it ALL to him at once!
As he nears orgasm, you will notice changes. His breathing may become quick and shallow, the sounds he has been making may change abruptly, he may arch his back and tense his muscles; he may throw his head back and clutch at you or the sheets. His balls rise so much they become difficult to move with your hand, his shaft will be rock hard, and the head of his cock will become so huge and engorged it feels as if it will burst. Do not stop pumping, and do not slow down! Keep pumping as long as he will let you. For many men the orgasm will be more intense and prolonged if you continue to stimulate them throughout the climax. At some point following orgasm, his cock may become so acutely sensitive that he will only enjoy the gentlest touch, if any. Pay attention to this sudden change.
Most men enjoy it when you swallow their cum. Men who have strong feelings for their lovers in particular may report feelings of intimacy and acceptance when their lovers swallow. One man deeply in love admitted to feeling a “soul injection” when his partner swallows. Although many partners are happy to oblige, some people find it difficult to do. Remember that it is a very small volume of liquid, about a teaspoon or so. The taste of semen is fairly mild, but can vary tremendously from man to man, and even for the same man at different times. If you have difficulty swallowing, you may try holding your breath and swallowing quickly. Some people find deep throating at the moment of ejaculation helpful, as he shoots his load so deep in your mouth that it bypasses the taste buds. If you absolutely cannot bring yourself to swallow under any circumstances, you can try to discreetly spit the semen into a tissue or towel. Or better yet, pull his cock out of your mouth at the last moment and have him ejaculate on your face or body, then make a little erotic show out of spreading his cum onto your body with your hands. Of course, if you are using a condom and you keep it on while he comes, you don’t have to worry about any of this!
Afterward, some men enjoy it if you “milk” their cock by squeezing at the base and then sliding your hand up the shaft toward the head, getting out every last drop of cum and lapping it up. Other men are so sensitive after coming that they cannot stand to be touched. Most enjoy at least having their balls cupped by your hand.